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Friday, December 06, 2013

My favourite joke from last summer was this:

Q. Why did 80,000 people boo George Osborne at the Olympic stadium?

A. Because that's its maximum capacity.

Obviously summer has now turned into autumn, and after the chancellor's statement yesterday, you'd expect this to be a winter of discontent. But not so. True, I've been informed that I now have to work for another 28 years before I'm allowed to curl up and die, but firstly I take that as a vote of confidence that I'm doing a good job, and secondly, after Amelie's parents' evening on Wednesday, I'm confident she'll be supporting us long before then.

Admittedly, there's not a great deal of discussion you can have in ten minutes, so I wasn't able to ask if they can recommend her for a full-fee scholarship to Roedean (preferably with 7-day-a-week boarding), but we did get a wholly positive report. Apparently she's good with letters, numbers and phonics, has an excellent vocabulary, wide general knowledge, and will put her hand up to everything. Which is how the Birmingham Six got into trouble. In fact, the teacher said that if she wants a sensible answer, she always asks our daughter.

At that point, I stopped to check that she had the right parents, before contesting her earlier comments that Amelie's always kind and thoughtful, by suggesting that she might be more like Gripper from Grange Hill. But apparently not. The teacher admitted that Am can be a bit bossy at times, but said that it never strays into bullying, and is simply a case of being confident.

Lisa's main contribution to the discussion was to ask if our daughter is shy, which made me wish Amelie was there to say something sensible, but judging by the way the teacher rolled her eyes, looked incredulous, and said "No?!!!!" as if she was some kind of lunatic, I don't think we have any reason to worry.

In addition to ten minutes with the teacher, we also had the chance to look through Amelie's 'Learning Journal' which was a record of her first term at school, complete with photos of her looking pleased with herself. Whilst doing so, a 7-year-old boy from another class wandered past, saw one of Amelie's pictures, and said "Oh! She's playing Mary in the school play!". So clearly her fame has spread to year 2. We confirmed that yes, she is indeed that celebrity, after which I asked him what part he's playing. He replied "Bird 3". Which is clearly better than Bird 4, but not something to shout from the rooftops. Although I think that's what the role involves.

Anyhoo, it seems our daughter's well on the way to fulfilling her dream of being a doctor during the week and a hairdresser at weekends, so we should be living off her income and looking great within twenty years. Which is just as well, as her brother's spending his time strangling cats by the front door...


... and looking like a loon...


... so she might need to support him too.

7 comments:

Phil's Mum said...

She's a star - as long as she's not at home! She asked me the other day when I'm going to be 99 and - having worked out how long that was - I went into a reverie of what Am might be doing then, including having children of her own. THAT will wipe the smile off her face! x

Jon the Bassist said...

I checked out the plot of the nativity I couldn't find what part bird 3 played in the birth of Jesus? Is the school getting mixed up with the crow scene from Dumbo which I believe appears in the book of revelations according to the dubious King James? I think we should be told

Phil said...

I'm no expert, but I think the three wise men followed a starling.

Phil said...

She's not a star, she's Mary. But thanks for being the first person ever to use the word 'reverie' on this blog. With that level of sophistication, you should be wearing one of Lisa's scarves.

Phil's Mum said...

I actually altered the word 'dream' to 'reverie'. Have to elevate the level of this blog somehow.

Phil's Mum said...

I knew we brought you up proper.

Jon the Bassist said...

Clarice?