Tomorrow is the annual May Fair at Shotley Village Hall. Among the usual attractions such as tombola, cake stall and bouncy castle, this year the organisers are advertising the addition of a "greasy pole".

Call me old-fashioned, but I can't help feeling that if you've booked Lech Walesa, you should show a bit more respect for the man.

[I apologise for the quality of that joke. But hey, it's the weekend, news is thin on the ground.]