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Sunday, August 22, 2004

I've given a lot of money to sick animals in my time, mostly those running at Newmarket, but gambling isn't always a mug's game - sometimes it can put you on the road to riches. Especially now I've developed my very own surefire gambling system. It involves sitting with my feet up, waiting for Lisa to come along and bet me a pound that she's right and I'm wrong. So far this week I'm three quid up, with another pound pending as we speak.

In the past we've gambled on whether Tom O'Connor presented 'Name That Tune', the exact age that women reach their sexual peak, and whether you ever get 4-1 favourites in dog races. This week however, we've had bets on blogs, friends, and (at 3am on Friday night) Gloria Estefan. Naturally I've won them all, and despite me generously allowing Lisa to make a pound back by betting that Mrs Bruno would give her a Stefan Dennis CD for her birthday (it was a long shot, I admit), I'm still in the money to such an extent that Lisa confidently declared yesterday "I'm never betting again".

So naturally she's just walked in and challenged me to take an online IQ test at IQ (clearly wanting to disprove my claims that I'm not as stupid as I look), before, predictably, adding that she'd bet me a pound she could beat my score. Fifteen minutes later and I had a certified IQ of 142, which, this highly scientific (and not dodgy at all) website alleges, makes me "highly gifted" and three points short of a genius. Not that I was surprised. The fact that I can't spell 'separate', and I think 'eachother' is one word, means nothing.

Lisa then handed me my laptop and sent me into the other room with the words "Go and write your blog while I do the test". So here I am. Sadly though I'm not going to be able to reveal Lisa's eventual score here. Especially if it's higher than mine. These things are deeply personal. And if it's lower, my gentlemanly instincts will prevent me mentioning so.

Oh hang on, she's finished.

Oooh, I'm rich.