Like me, I'm sure you're a regular reader of the National Association of Convenience Stores website (I'm never out of my local Spar) (well ok, I don't have a local Spar, but that's only because I've been shunned by society and am forced to live out my days on a lonely peninsula with people who think it's spelt 'peninsular', and a local shop which doesn't sell skimmed milk and is populated by elderly ladies who want to talk to me about dieting and mental health problems) (but I digress).

The fact is I'd be more likely to shop at Shotley Gate Village Stores if they sold fizzy fruit. Yes, that's right, FIZZY FRUIT. Apparently they can now make fruit fizzy (the clue was in the name) using a combination of scientific technology and ungodly hocus pocus (probably). I'd happily go for the oranges, but I'm not sure I like the sound of those carbonated cucumbers.

My mother, who is years ahead of her time, has made strides in this area herself, by managing to carbonate some fresh grape juice which she bought from the chiller cabinet in Asda and then decided to keep for a couple of days on the windowsill in her utility room, in the mistaken belief that it was long-life.

Obviously I still drank it though. It had quite a kick.

In other food-related news, today is the first day of the York Ebor meeting (that's horse racing, for those of you living in eternal darkness). Lisa has selected 'Bagan' in the 1:20 on the grounds that it sounds like 'Bagel', which is a fine horse racing system (especially when it's your mother's money you're staking). She's definitely barking up the right tree, but tragically she's gone for the wrong horse. She should have backed 'Bago' in the 3:00. Not only does it sound even MORE like 'Bagel', but it's going to win. No really.