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Tuesday, September 20, 2005

I haven't really slept the last three nights (it's the stress of a high-pressure lifestyle), so I decided to go for a three mile walk at 11pm last night to see if a bit of fresh air at bedtime would help me sleep. It didn't. I was still awake at 5am. And I didn't even win any iPods. But that's not the point. The point is that having walked a mile down the road, I passed a telegraph pole opposite the village hall, and there, sandwiched between an advert for a jumble sale, and another for something called 'Bums & Tums' (I think it's a fetish group), I found this notice:

It was handwritten on pink A4 paper and stuck to the telegraph pole with a couple of drawing pins. Obviously I could have left it there, but I do like to steal other people's property if there's a blog post in it, so I prised off the drawing pins and brought it home.

The question is, what does it mean? And who is Sarah Davey? There's nothing else written on the paper, and no photos or helpful illustrations, just the words 'Sarah Davey Through The Years!". Personally I think it's some kind of code. There's something very suspicious about the way its written. I particularly like the way the author completely gives up on capital letters through the middle of... um... 'through', makes a half-hearted effort to regain capitalisation at the beginning of 'the', only to finish strongly at the end. With an exclamation mark. They're clearly trying to tell us something.

The most obvious explanation is that it was written by Sarah's boyfriend, who was planning a series of daily notices to celebrate her birthday (and their love), showing pictures of her through the years. Although naturally I've just ruined that by taking down the first one. But the problem with this theory is that the handwriting is clearly female. I know, because it looks like the handwriting of my old friend Scott, and he wrote like a girl.

So my theory is that it's a carefully coded cry for help from Sarah herself. And what's more, I've cracked the code. Taking into account the apparently random (random, my foot) capitalisation, the message actually reads "SARAH DAVEY ThrougH The YEARS!". Rearrange the lower case letters slightly, and what do you get?

"He rough".

It's domestic violence. It couldn't be any clearer. Well ok, it could be a little bit clearer, but it doesn't matter coz I've solved it anyway.

And if I knew who Sarah Davey was, I could do something to help.