It's Lloyd Cole! Yes, I know it looks more like an alien holding a radioactive otter, but it IS him. And yes, I thought he was dead too. But it's amazing the number of 80s music stars who are still out there managing to flog concert tickets to people like Lisa. I was somehow persuaded to stay an extra day in Brighton in order to see the hot Cole causing a commotion in Hove on Wednesday night at a venue called 'The Old Market', which Lisa, who's lived in Brighton all her life, didn't even know existed.

To be honest I was lucky to get there alive, having been rammed by a pensioner on the way to pick up Lisa from work. I was stationary at the time, with my headlights on, and no other traffic around, but that didn't stop a man in his eighties who looked like he'd died about six months ago, veering his car across the road for no apparent reason and ploughing into my right headlamp. I'm not even sure he noticed. But then if you don't spot an entire car on the other side of the road, you're not really gonna know if you hit it. I waved as he drove on down the road, but he didn't let it worry him. Frankly it's only the fact that pensioners rarely top 10mph that saved my life that day.

But I was successfully comforted by Lloyd Cole, who played an evening's worth of songs I'm too young to remember, but which were actually very good. I'm almost a converted fan. We were also impressed by the undiscovered venue, prompting Lisa to quip "We'll probably find Roddy Frame's played here!". Roddy Frame, one of Lisa's top three obscure musical heroes, whom she hasn't seen live for more than 15 years, despite him being the only other man on the planet whose babies she still shamelessly offers to have, could clearly never have played within fifty miles of Brighton without her finding out, going into a frothing frenzy, and snapping up every ticket available. So we both laughed. And then picked up a programme which said he'd been there on October 14th.

So with Lisa on the verge of topping herself, I chose instead to wonder if I have the confident glow of a pharmacist. Whilst at Mill View Psychiatric Hospital on Tuesday evening (not everyone's idea of a night out, but I like the ambience) I was asked by one of the residents if I could supply him with any illegal substances. Naturally I declined (he couldn't afford my prices), so I was slightly surprised when we were approached in the bar of The Old Market 24 hours later and asked if we had any paracetamol. Do I look like a chemist? I said no, but gave her an aspirin and she went away happy.

Anyhoo, as of 1:30am this morning, I'm back in Shotley Gate. I made Lisa's nephew cry by turning up 30 seconds late to pick him up from school yesterday afternoon, so I thought I'd better leave before he tells his parents.