Well I've made it down to Brighton, but I think I've got some kind of hideous disease. Obviously I'm hoping it's Bird Flu, but they don't list that on NHS Direct, so I'm not sure. But my symptoms, courtesy of the Glandular Fever page, are:

Swollen, enlarged lymph nodes in the neck and groin.
Muscle aches and headache.
Tiredness and lack of energy.

Sadly I'm lacking the final symptom - weight loss - but you can't have everything. I did find myself thinking twice though when Lisa suggested we go to Burger King tonight.

Anyhoo, I'm battling on in the name of cat-sitting. Timmy's currently on the kitchen worktop trying to get into the cat biscuits, and Charlie's been in this morning and eaten Oscar's food, but apart from that it's all under control. As it's November 4th, we're also under strict instructions to keep them in from 5pm onwards "in case they get their ears blown off". And yes, those were her exact words.

I was, however, forced to stop off on the way back from taking Lisa to work this morning, to buy lightbulbs, as half the ones in Lorraine's house don't seem to work. The woman's living in eternal darkness. And her lights don't work. But fortunately I was able to make the most of the shopping trip by picking up a chocolate polar bear, which I plan to send to the needy.

Most exciting of all though, was the discovery of this book on the floor by Lorraine's bedside (so frankly it's a miracle Timmy hasn't eaten it). I thought it was a recipe book, so I picked it up, and having got over that disappointment, found that it actually looks quite interesting. It claims to be able to improve your work, health and marriage, all via a simple story about cheese. And best of all, it says you can read it in an hour. Which for a slow reader like me is quite appealing.

So by half three I should have the perfect life. Just in time for Countdown. Marvellous.