I've just had a hit over at the other place for the words 'Jodie Marsh is Indian'. Which is news to me. Though I do know that Ian Duncan Smith is Japanese and Mariah Carey's black. I also discovered recently that Jodie Marsh apparently has better GCSE results than I do, so if you want proof that exams have become easier, there it is right there.

Anyhoo. The things I do for love. Against both my will and my better judgement last night, I allowed myself to be talked into watching the turgid relationship drama that was 'Walk Away and I Stumble' (you can tell it's going to be painful from the title alone) on ITV. As a rule I don't tend to watch television dramas on the grounds that they're all... oh, what's the word..? Rubbish. You get far more convincing drama from a bunch of celebrities in the jungle, or Noel Edmonds opening cardboard boxes on Channel 4. But as a bit of a new man, I eventually agreed to the request from my other (but not necessarily better) half, that we should watch the stumble fest 140 miles apart, then come together via the magic of telecommunications for a full and frank discussion of the issues raised.

So having sat through ninety minutes of infidelity and terminal illness, I rang Lisa. Only to find that she seemed to know rather too much about 'The Woman With Half a Body', which had been on Channel Five at the same time. She claimed she only flicked over during the commercial breaks, but having given me the woman's medical history, life story, relationship details, and reasons why she thinks her husband is "not all there", I was beginning to wonder just how many commercial breaks they'd had down there in Brighton.

Conversely, all she seemed to know about 'Walk Away and I Stumble' was that Tamzin Outhwaite had 47 months to live. It was actually "four to seven", but for someone who'd been glued to the other side for an hour, she'd done well to pick up that much.

So that's an hour and a half of my life down the drain. And the sad thing is, I'll probably watch the second half tonight.