The partying Poles in flat 1 had another little soiree last night. Lisa informs me that they finally went to bed at 4am (she should take a leaf out of my book and invest in some earplugs), but personally I'd already had enough by 9pm when one of them called home on his mobile from outside my living room window in a voice loud enough to reach eastern Europe on its own, whilst wearing a day-glo green shirt and zebra-print hat. Frankly his outfit was louder than his voice. I expect that's what passes for fashion in Warsaw.

But am I bovvered? No. Because I plan to get out of the house a lot more next weekend. I discovered on Friday that next Saturday, June 9th, the World Naked Bike Ride hits Brighton, and in a recent change of heart, Sussex police have sensibly agreed to allow full nudity this year. After all, who could possibly be offended by the sight of two hundred sweaty naked people cycling past as you're coming out of Woolworths? No one, that's who.

Even more exciting is that their proposed route takes them within yards of my flat, officially making this a local news story (and golden opportunity to make jokes about willies), so I've already agreed to cover it (or rather uncover it) for The Kemptown Rag.

The only problem is that I've discovered this morning that it clashes with the Euro Gay Cup Regatta 2007, described by 'Visit Brighton' as "the largest Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender sailing event held in the UK". Which implies there are others. But as the Euro Gay website says, "Sailing is a growing sport in the gay community". Which is not surprising, as they've always enjoyed cruising.

Fortunately though, the gay sailing is a two-day event, so I may still be able to get along there next Sunday for a rendition of 'In the Navy' at the evening social.

That's if I've recovered from major surgery by then. Yes, after six months of waiting, my dentist has finally found a date when he's not on holiday, and agreed to remove my wisdom tooth tomorrow afternoon. I'm apparently having "intravenous sedation combined with local anaesthesia" (try saying that when you're numb), and according to the leaflet they've given me ('Before Your Dental Visit'), I have to eat chocolate biscuits just before leaving home. Presumably to get in some last-minute calories on the grounds that I won't be able to eat for a week afterwards.

It also informs me that I'm not allowed to operate a kettle or go near hot pans for eight hours afterwards, mustn't lie down (which apparently increases the risk of bleeding), and should take painkillers for at least the following two days. It then ends by telling me in capital letters "DO NOT DO ANYTHING THAT NEEDS SKILL OR JUDGEMENT". So at least I can still write my blog.