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Sunday, September 30, 2007

It's me with a big woman at Victoria Station!

Big Girl's Blouse
And I'd like to thank that big woman for taking my photo with the giant sculpture. It's apparently there to publicise London Ink, a new TV show about Louis Molloy, David Beckham's personal tattooist. No, I won't be tuning in either.

Anyhoo, as the photo proves, Lisa and I successfully made it to London yesterday. Just. Thanks to the Brighton Breeze which was taking place down at Madeira Drive, the streets were filled with VW camper vans, meaning our five-minute bus ride to the station turned into a twenty-five minute journey of epic proportions, akin to Hannibal crossing the Alps on an elephant. Only slower. But with perfect timing, we bought our tickets at 11:18am and caught the 11:19 train to Victoria, securing the only two seats left in the entire train. It was a good twenty minutes before we realised we were sitting in first class.

Arriving in London, we met up with Lisa's friend 'C' who insists on living there and working for Camden Council. I've no idea why. Knowing that we only had to travel three stops on the underground, Lisa and I had decided against buying one-day travelcards at Brighton station on the assumption that a return tube fare to Embankment would cost us... oooh, about 20p each. You can tell we haven't been to London for a while. It turns out that any single fare in zones 1 & 2 is £4, with a return costing £5.10. Someone needs to have a word with King Newt.

So having handed over £10.20 for our five-minute tube ride, we headed off towards Charing Cross, and arrived at the Ha Ha Bar for lunch. Which was quite appropriate as C couldn't stop laughing at my moustache. A chicken sandwich and some cheesecake later, and we made our way down The Strand to the Adelphi Theatre. We'd paid £35 each for our tickets, so naturally we were near the back, about three miles above sea level, with a load of people from Essex.

MeadiocreHere I am in row D of the cheap seats with Lee Mead who played Joseph. I can't believe he goes out in public with hair like that.

Anyhoo, despite the small child sitting behind us who spent most of the performance asking her father what was going on, I have to say the show was very good. Lee was excellent, which was quite annoying as I was hoping to make a joke about him being Meadiocre, but for me the show was stolen by Dean Collinson as Pharaoh. When he was barely 20, Dean wrote Sonia's 1993 hit 'Better the Devil You Know' which came second in the Eurovision Song Contest, but after fourteen years I feel it's time to forgive and forget, so I won't hold it against him. He was very good anyway, and took my mind off the painful cramp I was getting from the lack of leg room in the upper circle.

The finale, in which Joseph ascends into the rafters on a platform the size of a postage stamp, with no apparent safety net, made me feel slightly ill and probably contravened numerous health & safety by-laws, but it was quite spectacular nonetheless. Unfortunately it distracted Lisa enough for her to leave behind her small bottle of water, which was particularly annoying as she'd paid £2.10 for it at the theatre bar, making it her most valuable possession, and worth more than the entire contents of her handbag.

But we left the theatre with a smile on our faces and a song in our hearts. Both of which vanished once we got back on the tube. C and I attempted to politely kiss each other goodbye at Embankment station, but unfortunately I went one way, she went the other, and I ended up snogging her on the lips. As Lisa pointed out, it's the first time I've kissed another woman in 40 months. At least that's what she thinks.

All in all though, it was a good day out. Having spent £6.40 on buses, £37 on trains, £10.20 on tubes, £70 on tickets, £40 on food & drink, and 60p to use the toilets at Victoria Station, we obviously can't afford a holiday this year, but still, it got us out of the house for a few hours.


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