![I'd have dunked them the other way around.](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW5zMUkstgS0kWtqiGDFkLewiS2GsKQm8jNO4YUOdu0f65Sn2julu6z6nmXGcPTaGk1ZkNbRWPrS85FeDqDcdf4EWSya4gtEO1bLmbiJfn5XBkTJl7Rklmv2cP9qLhwSv7610qPg/s200/lembit_dunk.jpg)
In other local news, just seven months after writing an article about them for The Kemptown Rag, Floors and Walls have made it onto primetime national TV. Well, I say primetime. They were on Channel 4 at five past midnight. For about five minutes. And if you don't believe me, you can watch it here. Having recorded the show and watched it half asleep at 6:30am on Thursday morning, I must admit I was slightly outraged. They can't go describing their music as "chav rock" after I've gone into print declaring myself to be a fan. What will people think? I already shop at Lidl. No one's going to believe I'm middle class now.
But on the bright side, I recently discovered that the far more classy Ben Poole has followed The Rylics' fine example by quoting me on both his MySpace site and his main website. I bet The Argus regret not giving me a job now. Ben's got some new songs up on MySpace, and I have to say, there isn't a better way to spend seven minutes of your life than by listening to 'I'm Losin' You' (one title, four apostrophes). And if you didn't believe me when I said he's the best guitarist I've ever seen, try 'Liquid Wonderment'.
But enough about Ben, here's the news
I PASSED!
Yes, I'm officially a white van man. My class credentials really have gone up in smoke. But after spending the afternoon pootling around Brighton and Woodingdean in a clapped-out old van with no central locking and the handbrake on the right (I grasped thin air at every traffic light), Graham, a qualified driving instructor with many years experience, officially declared me "alright", and fit to deliver Elton John's drugs. Though he thinks I should check my mirrors more often. The nerve of that man.
He did, however, praise me for keeping a safe distance between myself and the vehicle in front whilst on the 60mph road to Falmer. I thanked him, and decided not to mention that I wasn't getting any acceleration out of the old crate we were in, could barely get above forty, and couldn't catch the bloke in front without a steep downhill stretch and a following wind.
Anyway, I passed. But not only that, I'm now in possession of some exciting documents. I thought I was learning to drive an NHS van, but oh no...
![For Queen and Country](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdC3bo3tUyDLPgB4_SH0tyhEwyK2cXLeW1vGry2yeYJLf_oWCOYAUQExrtCTHtpY1PM1Nh1fmKIeZTcWybe_IvWEoiJEVP7tkQKrfUpRDVmqLSaCUuGZxJEMTvv740FpJbGOZ2KQ/s400/crown+vehicles.jpg)
It's official: I'm working for the Queen. From Monday morning I'll be on Her Majesty's business. And as for the section entitled...
![I'll need this information.](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKvGvlBO_Ot27o7t58Db3P5Yw_3xx8efdLUwDINk0dudq4dBTLjM-gGfQ-JORylkMkR_Y8JpYmXaQ0KuAeoeU4SL5nm4jJpD3OvifCsM10kLi_uFjJMErZr8D3-_l5V0VfSkP6AQ/s400/accident.jpg)
... it says this:
Apparently I can also drive through red lights and eat swans.
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