Breaking news from this morning's 'All Staff Info-Mail'...

"Prize For New Name of Ward
The ward formerly known as Peel and Stewart will soon be totally refurbished in order for it to be used as a decant facility to allow us to undertake much needed maintenance on many wards across the site. These two wards will have new identities as part of this work and the Emergency Division are running a competition to rename the wards. A prize of £100 will be awarded to the member of staff with the best suggestion."

With a hundred pounds of public money up for grabs, I owe it to the British tax-payer to put some serious thought into this.

I might go for Blood and Guts. Or Death and Glory. Although if they want to name the wards after legendary healthcare professionals, they really ought to go for Dale and Jacques.

Anyhoo, I've got four weeks to come up with a winning idea, so any suggestions will be gratefully received. You won't get a share of the prize money, or indeed any credit whatsoever, but the knowledge that Brighton's sick people are lying there worrying about MRSA in a ward that you named, should be reward enough. Although personally I want my picture in the Argus too.