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Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Hair & NowI knew I could do it. Just ten months after raising £156.21 for prostate cancer research by walking around in public looking like this, the Journal of Clinical Oncology has finally announced the big news: I've successfully cured cancer. Apparently it's "the most significant advance in the field for 70 years", which is pretty much what people said about my moustache. Naturally I can't take all the credit, but I like to think that without my hundred and fifty quid to fund a bit of overtime, those scientists wouldn't have been able to stay late at the lab and make that crucial breakthrough.

I'd like to take part in Tacheback again this September, but sadly Lisa won't let me. One month of living with the lovechild of Saddam Hussein and a Mexican bandit was enough to last her a lifetime, and she's worried the baby might come early and be traumatised by the sight of me. So today's news is perfect timing. They can clearly do without me this year.

But in other groundbreaking medical news, here's the latest announcement from the All Staff Info-Mail at work:

Television Show

Cheetah Television are making a new primetime discussion series for Channel 4. If you fancy joining the debate on the ins and outs of modern sexual issues then you could be part of the discussion audience. Filming will take place during the day on 19, 20 and 21 August, at a central London location to be confirmed.

I'm not sure 'ins and outs' is the best phrase to have used.