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Tuesday, July 01, 2008

I have some interesting conversations at work. The Head of Purchasing came up to me this morning, smiled in a friendly fashion, and said "Do you have a wee?". I wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, so I took the easy way out and said "Pardon?". Sadly he wasn't put off. This time he expanded the issue by adding "Do you have a wee at home?".

I felt slightly uneasy, but decided he must be doing some kind of risk assessment on employees' toilet habits, and wanted to know how often I might be using the facilities. At the same time though, I wasn't sure I wanted to get into a conversation about the strength of my bladder and the amount of tea I drink. So I smiled politely and said "Um...".

He immediately moved a little closer, smiled conspiratorially, and said "A wee. Do you have one?". Naturally I panicked, thought he was about to invite me into the gents for something improper, and considered handing in my notice.

Fortunately, before I could run screaming towards the tranquiliser aisle, he started telling me about a golf game he'd been playing all weekend. At which point I realised he was talking about the Nintendo Wii. They really need to change the name of that console. I was on the verge of reporting him for indecent behaviour.

But in other news, today is the two-year anniversary of my move to Brighton. Which is odd, as I look at least ten years older. It's been an interesting twenty-four months, with more than a few surprises. I've celebrated the occasion by spending the evening trying to sort out a problem with my PC's soundcard, caused by installing an update for Windows Vista. I didn't see that coming two years ago.