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Monday, March 02, 2009

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. Especially when someone keeps kicking your bowl of tuna across the kitchen floor. One week you're being featured in every tabloid in the country, appearing on the BBC at primetime, and on the verge of becoming the biggest celebrity in Lithuania. The next, you can't even get a seat to yourself in your own home...

Mmm... fickle food.
Mind you, it could be worse. I had to stand for most of the evening.

But fortunately for Chloe, there is one person willing to make huge personal sacrifices to remember her fifteen minutes of fame. I walked across town yesterday afternoon on a quest to buy some picture frames for her newspaper clippings. I was planning to go to the pound shop, but then I thought no, Chloe's worth more than that. So I went upmarket and walked to the cheap shop in London Road, where they sell clip frames at two-for-£2.59. Which makes them 30% better quality than the ones from the 99p Store in North Street. My cat deserves the best.

Unfortunately, my route to London Road involved a trek up (and consequently down) Hanover's Muesli Mountain, a walk I've done many times before, but never with Amelie in a buggy. I have to say, you haven't lived until you've scrambled down a 1 in 4 hill with a five-month-old on wheels. It was literally a white knuckle ride. And whilst one of us may have slept through it, the other needed oxygen and a counselling session by the time he got to the bottom.

But the good news is I successfully bought six glass clip-frames for less than a tenner, before popping into Somerfield for milk, potatoes, and basically anything that weighed more than a kilo. Which is probably not a great idea when you've got to climb a mountain to get home. By the time I'd finished, the buggy weighed more than my car, and my journey back was like the trial of Sisyphus. I'm not saying it was slow, but I was overtaken by a snail at one point.

Anyhoo, having made it home minus a litre of sweat and about three pounds of fat, I carefully cut out all of Chloe's articles and arranged them in frames, with the intention of creating a walk of fame along the hallway.

At which point I realised I didn't have any picture hooks...

The Height of Fame
But still, at least they're the right height for Chloe.