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Sunday, October 28, 2012

If there's one thing I like to do on a cold weekend in October, it's to pack up my family, pick up my camera, and head across town to see The Amazing Levitating Cat of Brighton...


It's one of the great wonders of the modern world. Not quite awe-inspiring enough to get the attention of Lisa, obviously, and even Amelie looks a bit unmoved, but personally I thought the cat's ability to hover three feet above the floor without the use of wires, catapults or Photoshop was quite impressive.

It's four and a half months now since we successfully palmed off our delinquent kittens onto an unsuspecting public, and sixteen weeks since we last saw them, so we decided to head over to Stefan & Andrew's yesterday to check on their progress.

Needless to say, a lot's changed in that time. This was Rozi back in early July...


And this was her yesterday...


It's heart-warming to see how much progress she's made. In just four short months she's gone from chewing a three-year-old's sandal, to savaging a size ten shoe. By Christmas she should be tearing apart wellies.

As for Zita, she's a growing girl too. Back in May she looked like this...


But now she's allowed onto the furniture...


I think her tail's growing faster than her body, and she's slowly turning into a lemur.

Mind you, she's not the only one changing species. Four years ago, Amelie visited Stefan & Andrew's flat looking like a leopard...

I'm never far from a kitchen.
And now she's a lot more dalmatian...


I'm still struggling to get a photo of Toby that doesn't make him look like a plastic doll. People are going to think Amelie got a Tiny Tears for her birthday. I'm also wondering how I've managed to look greyer than in 2008 when I don't have any hair. I blame the dodgy flash. I've lost some weight in the face though, which I put down to old age, extreme stress, and less reliance on collagen implants.

Anyhoo, as always, we had a lovely afternoon being fed with cakes, biscuits, and a diet of good conversation. I examined the latest NHS brochure of sexual health training courses in East Sussex, counted how many times Andrew's name appears, and then read a book on the Berlin Wall, while Amelie did an impromptu performance of 'When the Robots Came for Dinner' and Lisa chatted about gonorrhea. We also heard about Stefan and Andrew's recent visit to the mother-ship of discount shopping, when they went to a German branch of Lidl and came back with a kilo of breadcrumbs.

Unfortunately I think the experience took a lot out of me. Namely my ability to fight off disease. I came down with a headache late last night, which then developed into nausea and shivering, and right now I feel like I've done a few turns on the spin cycle. I'm not sure if I'm allergic to cats or coming down with swine flu, but either way, I feel a bit rough...

2 comments:

Phil's Mum said...

Those cats are eerily like their mother.  As for you, make sure you phone in sick tomorrow - Lisa could do with a day off!

Phil said...

When you say "those cats", are you referring to Amelie and Toby in a kind of seventies jive way?

And as a general rule, my sense of social responsibility tends to kick in at around 7am on a Monday morning, so unless I'm on my death bed, I think I'll be in Uckfield tomorrow. I'm not sure I can phone in sick three days after discovering I'm a hospital star.