Whatever Next?
Anyhoo, we had a right royal time at the Woodlands Family Theme Park yesterday. Which explains why we dressed Amelie as the Queen Mother...
That's her pretending to choke on a fish bone. The pearls cost 50p from a Honiton charity shop, which is her token attempt to prove she's in touch with the common people. In reality, she knows she's far superior. She's only keeping that peacock around in case she needs a new hat.
Anyhoo, we made it to Woodlands Park at 12:15pm yesterday, which was a shame as the guinea-pig handling was at noon. We probably shouldn't have spent so long driving around Totnes looking for a Costa coffee. Our seven-day wristbands turned out to be bright green, so I feel like I'm permanently showing my support for the environment, but it was definitely a good idea to get them. We stayed at the park till it closed, and saw less than a quarter of what's on offer. Amelie's determined to go back today.
Within five minutes of arriving at Woodlands, it became pretty obvious where it got its name. Walking around the park is a bit like spending a day as the Gruffalo. Rather than wandering across an endless expanse of tarmac, it's all woods, hills and winding paths. It's the kind of place you could spend all day exploring, and easily get lost. So I had to keep a close eye on Lisa.
Amelie fulfilled her Queen Mother role by building a few castles...
That's where they got the name Sandringham. But the main focus of the day was the rides. The white-knuckle, death-defying, thrill-seeking rides that require nerves of steel and the courage of ten lions. Or failing that, a slide...
Lisa says the best part of that video is the look of contempt I give her at the beginning when I'm forced to come back down the steps and explain how to use my camera for the twenty-seventh time. But personally I think it's the way Amelie tells me how to use the sack, despite never having done it herself.
The important thing is that I led by example, and managed to break at least three of the health & safety rules...
I'm leaving the others for another day. It's important to have something to aim for.
Of course, the problem with us adrenaline junkies is that once you're hooked on the drug of excitement, it inevitably leads on to harder stuff. Amelie and I completed the Tornado Toboggan Run five times...
And it was all downhill from there. Minutes later, we'd taken leave of our senses and were scaling the heights of the Rapids Water Coaster...
That's what I call a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Or 'never again'.
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