I'm joking of course. She's not as innocent as she looks. And I don't think that horse is dead either. Although I'd get it to a vet sooner rather than later.
Anyhoo, this holiday is all about making dreams come true. As long as they're reasonable, and cost less than a tenner. Lisa might be living the dream, but the rest of us are on a tight budget. Fortunately, however, Amelie has held a burning lifelong ambition to ride a pony (accompanied by a genuine hope of keeping one on the balcony), so whilst in Devon, I felt we should fulfil the girl's dreams by heading to Dartmoor and breaking a wild horse...
I haven't seen her looking so pleased since she found out where I keep the blu-tac and started wallpapering the flat with her own artwork.
So on Friday, the Gardner Make-a-Wish Foundation organised a trip to the Miniature Pony Centre on Dartmoor. We took the A380, which is the closest we're likely to get to the world's largest airliner, but having got stuck in the mother of all traffic jams, we eventually had to do a u-turn and go a completely different way. It wasn't so much horse power as a pain in the ass.
It was worth the extended journey though. The Miniature Pony Centre gets outstanding reviews on TripAdvisor, and having been there, I'm tempted to add to them. Entry was comparatively cheap, the staff were incredibly friendly, and the whole place was completely lovely. It was also surprisingly quiet, which is the bonus of having a child who hasn't started school yet, and taking her during term-time to a place in the middle of nowhere.
Here's her lifelong dream coming true...
My Mum gets a mention in that video, as does Chloe, so I think that counts as a postcard. Which is handy as we haven't sent any.
This is the one for the mantelpiece...
Of course, with this much excitement, fun and laughter, you're bound to end up feeling a little hoarse...
... so it's important to take a break and let others do the riding...
But it's not all about the animals. If you've successfully avoided alcohol and prescription tranquilisers, you can operate heavy machinery...
Hang on a moment. Who's that classy, cosmopolitan lady strolling past at the end with a cool and collected air of effortless sophistication? Yes, it's Lisa in her scarf! That woman's too good for this family. It's a miracle she hasn't left me.
Anyhoo, it wasn't only Amelie who enjoyed herself. Toby fell in love with a ginga pig...
... and watched his sister rabbiting on...
But having herded some ponies, fed some goats, stroked a mouse and heard a pig talk (in English), the only thing left to experience was the white-knuckle thrill of the toddler swings...
At least he'll die laughing.
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