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Sunday, June 30, 2013

One of the joys of writing a blog is that I get a lot of stimulating and thought-provoking e-mails from nutters. Although obviously, if you're reading this, I don't mean you. It's the other nutters I'm talking about. Over the past few months, however, I've seen a noticeable increase in the number of people who think their lives would benefit enormously from getting a mention on this blog. Which is surprising, as Lisa gets name-checked quite often, and it's done sod all for her.

I've had the likes of Aimee, who said:

"I have just been reading some of your latest blog entries on your website, and I have some great ideas for articles of my own that would work well for your site."

Technically, of course, they'd only work well if they're based around incidents from my life, so unless Aimee's a gifted stalker or my mother's pseudonym, she's probably mistaken. But as as alternative, there's always a bloke called Dave, who wrote this:

"I hope you do not mind me contacting you like this but I have just been on your website and think that our styles of content are pretty similar. I write posts for sites that I like free of charge and was wondering if you would like me to write you a free 500 word post. I am trying to get my work covered on great sites and your site fits the bill."

He's such a flatterer. Unfortunately for Dave, I also write posts for sites that I like. Mainly this one. So I don't really need his services.

Things took a more interesting turn the Wednesday before last, however, when I received this e-mail from someone called Olivia:


Thanks for linking to from your web page at:

I am writing to tell you that this site has been moved to a new domain. Please update your page to link to our new Adelphi website:

Best regards

The blog post she's referring to is this one from six years ago, in which I mentioned that we were going to London to see Joseph, and then linked to both the Adelphi Theatre website and a fantastic (and hugely underrated) quiz.

Unfortunately, I read Olivia's e-mail on our return from Paignton Zoo, and the last thing I intended to do was to spend my holiday updating old blog links, so I ignored it for the time being. Which is more than Olivia did. Eight days later, on Thursday the 27th, she contacted me again...


I am emailing to check you received my message below regarding your link to If you are able to respond to me as soon as possible I would be most grateful.

Best regards

Clearly time waits for no man in the heady world of showbiz, and Olivia's terrified she could be losing a fortune in ticket sales from people clicking on my outdated link. So, feeling slightly irritated by her harrassment, I went to edit my old blog post. At which point I found that I hadn't actually linked to, I'd linked to And that link still works, taking you straight to the official website.

So I checked out the new address that Olivia wanted me to use: That takes you to a nice looking site with information about the current show, a number for telephone bookings, and a link to buy tickets online. And it has this statement in very small print at the bottom:

"This website is for informational purposes only and is in no way associated with or authorised by the Adelphi Theatre."

Yes, Olivia's basically a ticket tout trying to pass herself off as the real deal. So I wrote straight back to her with this:

Hi Olivia,

Yes, I did receive your e-mail, but I’m not stupid, so I won’t be updating my link to direct people to a website which has no affiliation to or association with the Adelphi Theatre.

Nice try though.


That was Thursday morning, and I've heard nothing back. So much for being "most grateful" for my quick response.


Phil's Mum said...

I LOVE your fans! What WOULD you do without them?

David East said...

I would just like to clarify that I am no longer called Dave, and have no affiliation or association with anyone of that name.

Phil's Mum said...

I wonder if I could claim I'm no longer Phil's Mum. Would anybody believe me