The headlines tonight... (well, this afternoon)... [bong]...
1. I was constantly irritated throughout the Olympics by the BBC's insistence on making Sue Barker (who looks a bit rough at the best of times) wear some kind of cheek-mounted flesh-coloured microphone, which, as Lisa so rightly pointed out, "made her look like she had a Sugar Puff stuck to her face". To my increased horror however, the practice seems to be spreading. I was watching Newsnight last night (I'm a regular viewer, obviously. The fact that I only caught the last five minutes, and Red Dwarf happened to be on straight afterwards, is purely coincidental), and Gavin Esler was sitting in the studio interviewing Newt Gingrich (some kind of red-headed amphibian spokesman I believe), both decorated with the outrageous Sugar Puff technology. Do they have no idea how ridiculous they look? What's wrong with clipping a microphone to a tie all of a sudden??? I felt like spitting on a hanky and dabbing their faces immediately.
2. I got up this morning to find that overnight a spider had spun a web across my draining board and was busy mummifying a moth over my teaspoons.
Yes, you're right, I do have nice cutlery. I'm not sure it's strictly hygienic though.
3. My parents, who had their house double glazed last summer (it's very nice - new doors and windows throughout - you should see it, really - make an appointment immediately), have just realised after a year of blissful silence, untroubled by visitors ringing the doorbell day and night, that they have no number on their front door.
Strangely though, the Readers Digest prize draw entry still manages to find them.
4. I'm bracing myself for the moment when the hit counter on this blog matches the hit counter on my homepage. Projections based on advanced statistical analysis indicate that it should take place within the next 48 hours (always allowing for people reading this, and immediately clicking the refresh button all day, just to annoy me). The fact that my blog has received the same number of hits since April as my homepage has in over 18 months is a statistical anomaly, and has nothing to do with my webcam pic putting people off. So gather round and watch those numbers tick by. It doesn't get much more exciting than this. (Unfortunately).