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Monday, February 14, 2011

I spend half my life telling Amelie not to touch the radiator in case it's hot, and then Lisa goes and does this...

Hot Stuff
She's hot stuff in more ways than one. But ignoring the health & safety implications of that pose, and the fact that she's already lost both an arm and a leg in some kind of industrial accident, that's Lisa wearing her Valentine's gift. The top and the cardigan are actually a cunningly designed one-piece, made for people who can't afford both. It means that if she wants to take off the cardigan, she'll have to go topless. Which in turn would afford everyone a view of her other Valentine's gift. And it's not a tattoo. Or a boob job.

In addition to the sexy clothing, I also gave Lisa a romantic DVD. Having considered 'Love Story', 'Gone With the Wind' and 'Casablanca', I eventually settled on 'The Wrestler' with Mickey Rourke. Lisa wanted to marry him when she was eighteen, so I thought I'd show her what she'd have ended up with.

Mmm... peanuts.For her part, Lisa gave me a bag of Lindt Lindor and the book on the left. After nearly seven years together, she knows I don't read, but it's only got about six words on each page, so I might have it finished by Christmas.

As for our romantic feast, that was a roaring success. If you like morbid obesity. It's no wonder Cupid's so chubby. By the end of the evening, we'd eaten so many calories I could barely pick up the WeightWatchers calculator. Music might have been the food of love in Shakespeare's time, but in our house it's chocolate.


A Passer-by said...

I assumed that Valentine's gift must have cost an arm and a leg - Lisa's!

Phil's Mum said...

And very nice she looks too!

Dave said...

'Nice' is such a bland word.