I've been searching all my life for a restaurant that serves chips by the bucketload...


But frankly that bucket's beyond the pail. To be honest, I've seen bigger thimbles. I do, however, approve of the slab of dead meat staked through the heart with a crucifix. That was very tasty.

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, I had the pleasure of going out for a meal last night with five female colleagues. And there were certainly a lot of baps on display. Mainly because we all had burgers.

We actually went to Rock & Roller, a new establishment in Western Road which features that oh-so-familiar pairing of gourmet burger restaurant and pool hall. It's like McDonalds with snooker. Only classier. And with fewer clowns.

We did, however, have a happy meal. They serve burgers made of everything from beef, lamb and chicken, to pork, fish and soya (mmm... soya), all with a choice of cheese and a bucket list of side dishes. And they give you your own wooden slab to dissect it. Personally I went with the spicy smoked sausage. Followed by a big glass of water.

The happiness, however, was provided by the company. And I don't mean the company I work for. I mean the people who work for our company. There might only have been six of us, but together we had enough fun for... oooh, at least seven people, and what's more, we had the balls to play pool. Mainly because we paid ten quid to get hold of them.

If I'm honest, the level of skill on display wasn't quite what you'd call professional standard, but the good thing about not being able to pot a ball to save your life, is that a game lasts for ages. The match was perfectly balanced too - we were all equally rubbish. At one stage we had to bend international pool rules ever-so-slightly and start moving balls with our hands, just to give ourselves a fighting chance.

By the end though, I was halfway to becoming Tom Cruise in 'The Colour of Money'. I'd successfully convinced everyone I was useless. I just need to work on the second part now.