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Sunday, March 25, 2007

It's Lisa!If there's one thing I don't talk about enough on this blog, it's Lisa's breasts. Ok, technically that's two things, but the bottom line is I really should cover them (or possibly uncover them) a lot more. Especially since discovering yesterday that I have the kind of girlfriend who's wasted on a blog like this, and really should be featuring on more 'specialist' websites where people will pay good money to examine her assets. I managed to get her on my webcam last night (see the evidence to the right), but I think I flared my nostrils at the wrong moment and ruined the shot.

Anyhoo, this all stems from a visit yesterday afternoon to Bravissimo in North Street, which I always thought was an Italian restaurant, but is in fact a shop which sells "Lingerie, swimwear & clothing for big boobed women". I feel they could have put it a little more tastefully than that (I prefer the phrase 'massive bristols'), but that's their slogan, and they're sticking with it. I should point out that I wasn't a part of this event, preferring instead to nestle comfortably in the bosom of the 99p Store in Western Road, where I bought a box of bandages so that Lisa can practice for a first aid course she's going on next week. She also wants to try putting me in the recovery position, which will probably take me a week to recover from, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Anyway, I was slightly stressed by my experience in the 99p Store, having been forced to stand in a queue while the woman in front of me said "How much is this?" (I think people like that should be put down), but Lisa got on slightly better than me at Bravissimo. Yesterday '32G' was merely the kind of force which could kill a spaceman. Today it's Lisa's bra size. Yes, the trained staff at Bravissimo carefully measured Lisa from all angles using state of the art equipment (a tape measure), and concluded that she's been out in the lingerie wilderness for too long, and needs to come in to a refreshing size 32G. Which is lucky as they're the only shop in town which sells it.

So having been successfully diagnosed as a candidate for the top shelf, Lisa parted with £26 for the bra pictured above. It's a good job specialist magazines pay well, otherwise she couldn't afford to eat. As it is, she couldn't stretch to the matching knickers, so skirts are out til the summer.

But the good news is I've done a bit of research on the internet this morning, and having looked into the 32G phenomenon quite extensively (at great personal sacrifice), I've managed to find a website with information (and photos) for people like myself who have to live with these breasts on a daily basis. It's called simply But be warned, some of the photos are quite explicit. One of the girls is so hot she's got steam coming off her.