You know you've got problems when you find yourself lying in bed at 1am thinking about David Van Day. Personally I blame Sarah, the editor of The Kemptown Rag. She e-mailed me on Monday offering me a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to write about a three-legged charity pub crawl she's organising for Easter Monday. Apparently I don't just get to write about it, I also get to make a fool of myself in public and take part in an egg & spoon race. It was a crushing blow when I realised I'm busy that day.

But as compensation for my lack of charity work, I agreed to write her an article about David Van Day instead. I felt I had a lot of material to work with, as having written last Saturday's blog post and pointed out all the man's mistakes, I then noticed another three I'd missed. Well I say mistakes. For all I know the word 'propspective' does exist.

So I spent yesterday evening considering the faults of David Van Day. Which meant I was still awake at 1am, and ended up getting out of bed at one-thirty and writing the whole thing on my laptop in the middle of the night. It's how all the best journalists work. I just need to find a safe-house now before the article goes to press. I'll ask the Labour council. Apparently they collect refuges.

In other news, I was watching a TV programme last night about first-time buyers in Brighton, and it mentioned that a lot of people are now buying houseboats in Shoreham harbour because they're a fraction of the price of a one-bedroom flat, and come with sea views and all the fish you can eat. Which was enough to get me straight onto Right Move looking for a raft I can call my own. I didn't find any, but I did find this...

It's a parking space in Lower Rock Gardens, only five minutes walk from my flat, and it's currently on the market for £30,000. Is it just me, or is that a bit excessive? I wouldn't mind, but it looks so narrow that it's clearly discriminating against women drivers, who'd never get in there in a million years.

But still, it's good to know that if I want to get on the property ladder in Brighton, I can start with a parking space, work my way up to a shed, and within ten years have a small bedsit of my very own. You've got to dream the dream.