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Thursday, April 01, 2010

This is my 1,900th blog post, so if I'd started on the day Jesus was born, and written one every Christmas, I'd now be posting a photo of the first Zeppelin airship.

Simples!But in the absence of any over-sized blimps, here's a picture of Amelie with a meerkat. Simples! It was bought for her by my parents and delivered yesterday morning by my Mum, who wanted us to compare the meerkat with the one we saw in Western Road a few weeks ago. Frankly this one's much better. He and Amelie have the same jacket.

Anyhoo, there's only one thing which makes Amelie happier than stroking a meerkat, and that's biting her father. Within minutes of getting home from work yesterday, she was attacking me on the sofa and going for my spare tyre like a snapping turtle. You don't even need to click 'Play' to see how hilarious a bit of physical violence can be. Just look at the sheer joy in that freeze-frame...

GBH has never been so funny.

But on the subject of laughing policemen, the latest news from Wiltshire is that Big Sis has been hauled in by the cops again. No, really. Anyone would think she'd been speeding down Wootton Bassett High Street. To be honest, she probably has, but they haven't caught her for that yet.

This time she was tailed by the fuzz at midnight, before being stopped for frequent, sudden braking. As she put it to me in a text message, "I asked them if they had ever tried driving a left-hand drive car designed for straight American freeways along the bendy dark country roads of Wiltshire?". I don't know if she got an answer to that. They were probably too busy arresting her for impertinence. But they did ask her if she'd realised she was being followed. She said she had. Which is why she speeded up on the straights and had to brake so sharply at the bends. They responded by breathalysing her. Obviously.

The good news is she hadn't been drinking. The bad news is it means she's always like that.