Big Sis is ill. Obviously I can't stand people who whinge about their physical ailments at the drop of a hat (by the way, I'll be updating you all on my sunburn later), so I'm hoping to keep her quiet by means of a home-made get well card. She's currently holed up in her bedroom, meaning she's one of the few people in the world who phones in sick to work and then actually stays in bed, rather than slapping on some make-up and hitting the nearest mall.

Of course, when I was at death's door last Friday I did hit the nearest mall, but I didn't wear make-up, so it's ok.

We have tickets for the Addison Improv tonight - a Dallas comedy club, which (bizarrely) we had recommended to us at the eyebrow waxer's. We're going to see a guy called Brian Malow. I chose him due to the fact that his bio says his comedy is "shot-through with a healthy dose of science references", which isn't a claim you hear every day. And besides, the comedian who's on tomorrow night has a dodgy photo, so I was forced to rule him out on those grounds alone.

Having booked our (non-refundable) tickets online, I did a search for Brian Malow and found audio clips of his stand-up routines (see link above), which are actually pretty funny. Sis helpfully pointed out that I probably should have researched his comedy before booking the tickets, but hey, I like to live dangerously.

And I'll be encouraging Big Sis to live dangerously too, when I force her to leave her sick bed tonight and drive me there.

As for yesterday, well I formed a bond with my pet scorpion, who I named Maury after a tacky talk show I seem to have developed a taste for over the past 9 days. I introduced him to Sis when she returned home from work, whereupon she casually informed me that they get black widow spiders and tarantulas around here, and I should check my bed last thing at night. Before adding "I didn't tell you because I thought you might not come to stay if you knew". She then forced me to flush Maury down the kitchen sink.

I'm beginning to understand why Sis was so keen for me to take out medical insurance before I came to visit her.