Hmmm... you'd think that with 500 channels to choose from, I could find something worth watching on TV. Apparently not. Although I have discovered that Whoopi Goldberg advertises Slim Fast, so my channel hopping wasn't entirely in vain.
I'm at home alone today - my sister has been forced to go out and earn a living to pay for all the food I'm getting through. I'd lost close to a stone since Christmas, to compensate for the half a stone I put on whilst writing 'Be Worth It' in the autumn (the price of being a dedicated playwright - no time to exercise, but strangely plenty of time to eat), so I'm keen to see how much of that I can re-apply in the next two weeks. I seem to be burning off quite a few calories though - my sister's kitchen has 42 cupboards and 24 drawers (yes, I counted them), so it's like an episode of The Crystal Maze just trying to find the food I'm looking for.
Yesterday featured my first experience of a Texan supermarket. I found the shopping cart difficult to handle, as the rear wheels don't swivel, unlike their British cousins. It meant I had to do a lot of 3 point turns, and manouvering became increasingly tricky the more ice cream I loaded into the cart. I also found that Edam cheese is extortionately expensive, so I was forced to buy white chocolate fudge cookies instead.
Later, we went for an afternoon stroll down to the Chandler's Landing Yacht Club. Big Sis had clearly heard of my flirtation with Shotley Sailing Club, and was keen to compete. We looked at the skyscrapers of Dallas over on the other side of the lake, realised we could no longer feel our feet due to the cold, and hastily made our way back. We then hiked three miles around the gated community, saw more squirrels than people, looked at the millionaires' homes, I wondered again how my sis had wangled a free house here, considered asking her employers if they'd buy me one too, then came back and ate iced buns.
In the evening we ventured forth to Circuit City. Which turned out to be more of a shop than a true city. Think Currys on steroids. But without Linda Barker (thank god). I'm not at liberty to say how much Big Sis spent on electrical items, but it earned her another 2000 air miles from her Virgin credit card, so we're not talking a 50 cent fuse here. One of the boxes was so big we had to open the roof of the Chrysler convertible in order to get it onto the back seat. It's an everyday hassle for us all, isn't it - I can't tell you how many times a week I have to roll back the roof on my convertible to get my purchases in. Ok, I can. I drive a Skoda, so it doesn't happen very often. I'd need a tin opener to roll back the roof. But still.
I'm off now to look up Dallas zoo on the internet, and find out if they have aardvarks.