Having been here for eleven days, we finally made it as far as the Chandler's Landing Yacht Club last night - a distance of about one hundred yards. It was a humanitarian mission for me - Big Sis is paying memberships fees (she's quite the old sea dog) (well ok, she's never been near a yacht in her life, but they have a gym, and she's big on lycra) which includes $60 worth of food from the restaurant every quarter. Having never eaten there before, she needed to use up her $60 allowance before the end of the month to fend off the (obviously unfounded) accusation that her membership is a complete waste of money. My role in this venture was to turn up and eat $60 worth of food, a challenge which Sis foolishly thought would be beyond me. Until I ordered the stuffed tenderloin steak, from the section where they don't even tell you the cost of the dish, because if you have to ask, you can't afford it.
It turned out to be another fab meal for me. It was slightly less fab for Big Sis, who, after having a one-to-one chat with the chef about how she doesn't eat meat or fish, was presented ten minutes later with a spinach salad sprinkled with bacon bits. When asked to take it back, I could tell the waiter was tempted to say "but there's no actual meat in our bacon bits", but in the end he bit his tongue and brought her another one. Which they'd kindly made without bacon. And instead added chopped boiled egg.
Big Sis doesn't like boiled eggs.
But my starter was lovely. As was my main course, which went surprisingly well with Sis's pasta, which she shovelled onto my plate having decided she didn't like that either.
For dessert, the waiter refused to provide us with a menu, and instead reeled off a choice of four radically different cheesecakes, three of which I'd never heard of, so in a panic I chose the chocolate one, it being the only name I could actually repeat back to him. He then presented me with a slice of ordinary cheesecake with a bit of chocolate sauce on top. I realise this may not sound very funny in the cold light of day, but having already been given a vegetarian salad with bacon, and an egg-free salad with egg, the chocolate cheesecake with virtually no chocolate was enough to send us both into uncontrollable fits of laughter, which almost made me bring up my tenderloin steak, and gave Sis agonising stomach pains. Although I do think her pains were due in part to the fact that she hadn't actually eaten any of the three dishes she'd been presented with that evening. Which is probably why she insisted on digging into my cheesecake the moment we managed to stop laughing for more than five seconds.
But anyway, I've promised to return to Texas once every three months just to use up Sis's food allowance. Although next time we might just order $60 worth of cheesecake.
Tonight we're heading back to Grapevine Mills for one last night of intense shopping before I fly home tomorrow. I've been studying the mall map, so I know how to avoid the nail bar this time.