Fantastic news. The Daily Mail's sensationalist reporting of non-stories is bringing in new visitors to my website. I've just had my first referral from Google searching for the words "Lower Harlings, Shotley Gate, Suffolk". I'm very tempted to add a Lower Harlings souvenir section to my Shotley Gate page, just to satisfy all the gossip hungry tourists who are now starting to turn up. I don't actually have anything interesting to say about the cul-de-sac from hell, but having read the Daily Mail article on my return to the UK, I can safely say that neither did they. But I'm not averse to making something up.
And having just used the phrases "Lower Harlings" and "Shotley Gate" twice on this page, (er, make that three times), the moment Google updates its listings, I'm going to have Lower Harlings (4 times) fans from all over Britain dropping by in their thousands. I might start selling T-shirts. "My friend moved to Shotley Gate, and all I got was this lousy cul-de-sac". Or something.
I'm also pleased to report that having had my third such website hit this week, I'm now ranked 6th out of almost 6,000 websites for the words "Can a laser pointer drive a cat insane?". Which is flattering, considering I don't even know the answer myself, despite all the extensive personal research I've carried out. But seeing as my cat died a few weeks ago, following two and a half years of wanton laser pointer abuse, I'm probably not the best person to ask.
And let's face it, I'm also the fifth most popular world source for the phrase "Dalmatian statues", and I know bugger all about them.