I've just returned home from another 3 mile jaunt around Yacht Club Drive (45 minutes, I'm sure I'm getting slower, it's the fudge cookies, they're weighing me down), to discover a scorpion in the kitchen!!!!! Really! Admittedly it's only about half a centimetre long, so it's the scorpion equivalent of a money spider, and as such may not be at the very top of the 'most deadly' list, but even so, I feel quite brave just remaining in the same house as this beast.

Actually, now I think about it, maybe it's just a baby, and they actually grow to be three feet long. Ok, I'm leaving.