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Wednesday, January 05, 2005

I saw a news report at lunchtime today about a man who'd been rescued from the tsunami in Asia after floating on tree branches in the sea for eight days. According to the report he'd survived by "drinking the milk from passing coconuts".

Speaking as someone who once struggled to get into a coconut with a drill and a hacksaw, would someone mind explaining to me how you extract the milk from one when you're weak with hunger and bobbing along in the ocean armed with nothing but a few twigs and leaves?

I also heard that Mike Read has written a charity song to raise money for the tsunami relief effort. As if it wasn't enough of a disaster already.

But anyway, I've been away from the computer since mid-afternoon, merrily cleaning my flat for no other reason than that Lisa will be arriving on Friday. It's been seven months - I really should've stopped making an effort by now. But I've just returned to the online world to be greeted by the news that King Nicholas (not to be confused with Kingster - honestly, anyone would think I was Paul Burrell) has clearly been at the leftover Christmas sherry again, and not content with awarding me an OCE in the New Year's Honours list (in between Anneka Rice and Julie Reinger - what can I say, it's a privelege), he's gone above and beyond the call of duty, and has officially become the first forward-thinking young visionary astute enough to see the true market value of my work and make use of my website's donation system.

Which is one in the eye for all those people who said "what's the point of that? No one's ever actually going to be mad enough to send you money".

Well yah boo, and sucks to piggywiggy. They were and they have.

So may I take this opportunity to say a humble and heartfelt thank you to his majesty for this gift. It was generous in the extreme (but no, I'm not disclosing the amount here, partly to ensure confidentiality for my benefactor, partly to avoid begging letters, but mainly because I know it will annoy everyone else who reads this) and I will indeed post a picture of whatever I spend it on, as requested. In addition you'll be added to my Christmas card list, as per the terms and conditions of this website.

You never know, I might even use it to buy a book from Amazon.