You know you've chosen the right song for your first karaoke experience when the DJ introduces you, and half the audience groans. I knew I shouldn't have gone for Take That. But like a younger, slimmer Gary Barlow, I ploughed on regardless and slaughtered 'Back For Good' with all the dedication I could muster, accompanied by encouraging cheers from the other side of the bar where Lisa was doing her best not to laugh.

I missed out a lot of the words towards the end, when I realised I didn't know the song quite as well as I thought I did, but I compensated with a bit of swaying and a few despairing looks to the DJ, who said "I don't know how that bit goes either", so I think I got away with it.

The evening had started well when Lisa and I decided not to get off the bus thirty yards from the station, because it was raining, and Lisa was convinced that if we stayed on, it would swing around and drop us off right by the main entrance. So we stayed put and looked longingly at the station disappearing into the distance behind us, as the bus drove on a quarter of a mile before letting us off.

But hey, I was in the mood for a walk through the rain, with Lisa telling me to slow down because she was wearing the wrong heels, and Melee phoning me on my mobile wondering where we were.

But we all met up shortly afterwards, exchanged marmalade (well, Melee and James (named and shamed) gave us marmalade, we gave them a firm handshake), and promptly jumped on another bus into town. We ate at Pinocchio's, where we each took it in turn to go to the toilet, giving the other three a couple of minutes to talk about the absent person. I'm sure only nice things were said about me, and in addition, James told me what he liked most about Lisa. He'd been drinking, so I won't repeat it.

Having stuffed myself with chocolate truffle gateaux (I'm on a diet), we made our way to Brighton pier and the 'Offshore Karaoke Bar', which presumeably has certain tax advantages over other karaoke bars. Melee did Macy Gray, James did R.E.M., I did the boy band thing, and Lisa did a convincing impression of someone who'd rather die than get up on stage and sing. Having seen me dying on stage, she should've realised that both were possible, but she refused to be persuaded, so we missed out on her own unique interpretation of the Bananarama classics.

Unfortunately the twin distractions of drink and karaoke were enough to corrupt the usually responsible young Croydoners, and having stayed til 11pm, Melee and James promptly realised they'd missed their last train home. So it was back to Lisa's for a game of Mike Read's Pop Quiz, accompanied by much shouting of "Ricky!" (there was some confusion over which Mike Read we were talking about), and large amounts of cheating from the younger members of the group. Ultimately though, Lisa and I triumphed over adversity and won both the game and the right to wear the winner's badge.

Which was too much for Melee and James. They left first thing this morning.