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Sunday, January 09, 2005

It's ok, we're still alive. Crash and Donna didn't turn out to be psychopathic axe murderers after all. I know, I was surprised too.

As it happens, we had a very nice evening. Lisa and I were on time, having used the cunning ploy of planning to leave here 20 minutes earlier than we needed to, thus ensuring that when we actually left (15 minutes late) we still had a fighting chance of making it. Lisa was wearing shoes she can't walk in, and I'd made an effort by choosing a high percentage of charity shop gear and not bothering to shave.

Having arrived at Ask, and scanned the restaurant for dodgy characters, we sensed a bright orange glow behind us, and turned to see Crash approaching in one of his tasteful shirts. Which was made even more tasteful (well, tasty) by the presence of a marshmallow flump sticking out of the top pocket. A flump which is now sitting on my coffee table. I'm on a diet. So I'm leaving it til I have a couple of bowls of ice cream later.

Crash and Donna were also kind enough to lend us a DVD (they won't be seeing that again), and in return we gave them a piece of wooden tat I found in Brighton.

Having settled into our seats and looked at the menu, I slipped off to the toilet to check out the escape routes and text the police marksman I'd had positioned on the roof.

As it transpired, they weren't needed. Our blogging chums turned out to be fab people, although Donna did admit to having a frankly shocking criminal past, which is probably why she looks like one of the cast of Prisoner Cell Block H (it's ok, I can say things like that now - we're close friends). She also has a history of wantonly smashing pub windows. So I suspect she was only wearing baggy trousers to hide the police tag around her ankle.

But all that aside, we heard the romantic tale of how the pair met (which is a Mills & Boon novel waiting to happen, and if no one else writes it, I will), and were also treated to the details of Crash's surgical history. Only Michael Jackson has had more facial reconstruction than that guy. He's like the six million dollar man.

Anyhoo, with great originality I ordered the same pizza I had when Lisa and I first met at Ask in London, while Lisa went goat's cheese crazy, and Crash had a fried egg. Donna meanwhile proved herself to have the appetite of a sparrow, and failed to get halfway through her meal. But I think she'd been eating Blackjacks all evening, so that's probably why.

As for the drinking, I don't think Crash touched a drop all evening, though he certainly didn't draw attention to that fact.

But a good time was had by all, and we loved it. So thanks guys - we'll definitely have to do it again. Especially if you bring us another DVD. And promise not to shout.