The question on everybody's lips today appears to be "How tall is Phil Oakey?". At least, that's what somebody typed into a search engine to get to this blog. The spooky thing is that whilst I have no idea, I do have close links with a woman who can quote the exact height of every member of Duran Duran. So if anyone can find out, it's Lisa.

In other internet news, I spent yesterday evening at my parents' house, chatting to my sister-in-law and colouring-in a Christmas tree with my niece (twelfth night means nothing to her), whereupon I discovered that my Dad now has more items for sale on E-bay than Del Trotter. Speaking as someone with about half a dozen websites, and more hours clocked up online than Bill Gates, there's something not quite right about being shown how to use E-bay by a pensioner.

But anyway, I've now found time to watch the DVD lent to me (and Lisa, but she doesn't get a look in) by Crash n Donna. And very good it was too. (So they're definitely not getting it back). Entitled 'Dave Gorman's Googlewhack Adventure', it was the story of an adventure undertaken by Dave Gorman, based around Googlewhacks. Which took me by surprise.

For the unenlightened, a Googlewhack is a random pair of words which, when entered into Google, produce just one hit. They're not easy to find (well not for people with limited vocabularies like me), but having watched the DVD, I decided that with all the many pages on my website, at least one of them must contain a Googlewhack. And if it's (just) possible to find them randomly, it's gonna be a darn sight easier when you're physically searching a particular page. So I thought I'd quickly find one on my own site.

Gentle reader, I have wasted half the day on this. I cannot believe there are 1,460 results for schizophrenic aardvark. And how can there be 61 other sites which mention inglenook Nazis? Catchphrase catamarans was no better - I reckoned without a 2001 edition of Sailing News which claims that "Why did we bring a spinnaker?" is a common catchphrase amongst boating people. Yeah right.

Anyhoo, having just about lost the will to live, I finally hit paydirt with... [fanfare please]... SHRIVELLING SPRITZERS. Hurrah!

At least... I thought I had. Unfortunately the rules of the challenge state that both words have to be listed in Dictionary.com, indicated by them being underlined in the top right of the search results page.

And 'spritzers' isn't underlined.

So I visited Dictionary.com, where I found... spritzer, n. : a drink made of wine and carbonated water.

I demand a steward's enquiry. (Possibly a bar steward's enquiry). How can spritzer be in there, and not spritzers? It's an outrage. Or is it like adding an 's' to sheep? Honestly, I'm not happy.