Lisa and I are off to a wedding today. It's at Deans Place Hotel in Alfriston, which is designed for people who want to look like they're standing outside a pub in their wedding photos. For an additional fee, Dean will stand in the background giving you the double thumbs up.

The bride is a friend and colleague of Lisa's who I've only actually met once, but judging by the Deans Place wedding brochure, she clearly liked me enough to consider it worth spending an extra hundred quid to have me at her wedding. But the £300 facility fee and £89 per person does include "use of a CD player", so it's not all bad. The evening barbecue, which I'm also invited to, is an extra fifteen pounds a head, but I plan to eat enough to ensure they get their money's worth. It's the least I can do.