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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

At precisely 7:41pm last night, I said to Lisa "I can't be bothered to write any more. Come and read my blog post and tell me if you think anyone will notice that I've cut it off before the end".

To which Lisa replied, "No, I'm doing the washing up".

It's that kind of selfless devotion to housework which is stopping me winning a Pulitzer. That and the fact that I'm British. Suffice it to say that this blog will improve beyond recognition once we get Amelie doing the household chores.

But anyhoo, for the benefit of those awaiting the next episode of Casualty, my doctor informed me yesterday that whilst I may be unusual and could probably get work as a circus freak, I'm not entirely unique, and she has seen patients before who don't respond to Ciprofloxacin. Although apparently they're all dead now.

Well ok, they're not. She also added that the top scientists who have been attempting to breed sea monkeys in my urine for the past two years (or 'culturing a bug', as she prefers to put it) have so far been unsuccessful, and therefore we don't know exactly what we're treating. So under those circumstances we go back to the first drug that worked. Albeit temporarily.

So I left the surgery with a prescription for 4 weeks supply of Trimethoprim, a drug which costs marginally less than 20p a packet. If only it worked on swine flu.

But whilst I might be in the vice-like grip of bacterial prostatitis, I can sleep easy in my bed when the measles epidemic strikes. I've just heard from Occupational Health...

I'm fine, thanks for asking.I do like a letter which gets straight to the point and doesn't waste time on pleasantries. Frankly I've had longer text messages.

But the good news is I'm fully immune to all known diseases (apart from the ones not mentioned on the left), which is one in the eye for all the people who've told me that the measles vaccine hadn't been invented when I was a child. I might look old and unwell, but I'm young enough to have been immunised.

In other news, Lisa and I watched the film Paris, Je T'Aime on Sunday night. We borrowed the DVD from our friends S & A in February, so it's taken us three months to get around to watching it, which is probably longer than the film took to make. But it was worth the wait. It's actually a collection of about twenty short films, and is mostly in French, but fortunately Lisa and I both speak French like natives. Natives of the UK, that is. To be honest we struggled to translate the title.

But having got to grip with the subtitles, we both thought it was excellent. Ironically for a French film, my favourite segments were the ones by German director, Tom Tykwer, and American, Alexander Payne. But to be honest, they were all good. In fact the only disappointment was that the DVD cover said this...

Lisa presents...
... and yet Lisa had nothing to do with it.