Subscribe: Subscribe to me on YouTube

Friday, May 08, 2009

Oh, and I've got mints too...

Mint Condition
I think they're laced with azithromycin.

But if you really want to educate young people on sexual health matters, I've always said that you can't go far wrong with a stress-busting sperm...

Squeezy Sperm
You can squeeze it to relieve anxiety, but if you pull the thing too hard, its tail will snap off. So it teaches kids about cat care too.

The packet says this:

Four-year-olds will love it.
Yes, and the fact that it's sperm-shaped and mentions Chlamydia. Those are two conversations you don't want to have with a toddler.

Anyhoo, on the subject of disease prevention, I had a Hepatitis B vaccination on Wednesday. The Occupational Health Department thought it might be wise to dose me up with antibodies before I start meeting the general public as part of my new job. Admittedly you can only catch Hep B from bodily fluids, but some people can be quite friendly on a first meeting.

With hepatitis and swine flu on the rampage, I'm avoiding liver and bacon in the hospital canteen, but having had the injection on Wednesday, I'm probably safe to try paté. Unfortunately, within twenty-four hours of immunity I took a turn for the worse, and spent most of yesterday feeling pretty exhausted and vaguely unwell. I'd have squeezed my sperm to make me feel better, but I wasn't given that till this morning. So I opened a bottle of coke and had a mint. Neither did me much good, and I was forced to turn to my vaccination leaflet instead.

Amongst the known side effects, it lists these...

Under the weather.
I didn't know 'vague illness' was a recognised complaint. Frankly I'm a chronic sufferer. I'm just surprised 'feeling a bit peeky' isn't there. As for the fever, that hasn't materialised yet, but I'm expecting it on Saturday night.