A week might be a long time in politics, but a month is a lifetime in the world of child-rearing. Just four weeks ago Amelie was rooted to the spot like Lisa in front of an episode of Loose Women. Now she's sprinting across the floor and grabbing a packet of Marmite Breadsticks faster than you can say 'buy me a playpen'...


Not even dressing the girl in MC Hammer's trousers was enough to slow her down. Lisa's cry of "Clever girl!" turned to a look of horror within about thirty seconds. You can break family heirlooms all day long, but you touch Lisa's crisps at your peril.

Personally I was quite happy to sit back and film the snack-stealing, but when Amelie crawled the entire length of the living room and started attacking my computer, I knew something had to be done. So while Lisa took a well-earned break this afternoon, Amelie and I headed across town to Babies R Us with a song in our hearts and a lot of money in our pockets. And here's the result...


On the plus side, Amelie can no longer get from one end of the living room to the other. On the down side, neither can we.