It's Big Sis's birthday today, so happy birthday to her! She's celebrated the occasion by going back to work this week while she saves enough money to get a jumbo jet off the ground, so I texted her last night to ask how her first day went. She replied to say that two of the people she's started working with have already handed in their notice. So she's making an impression.

But I'm sure Sis will be buoyed by the arrival of the birthday card I bought her on Sunday. It says 'Superstar Sister' on the front, and comes complete with an 'I ♥ High School Musical' badge and a picture of Zac Efron. I can't be certain that she'll like it - after all, she's never expressed any interest whatsoever in High School Musical - but the way I look at it, twenty million teenagers can't be wrong.

And on the subject of fabulous gifts, it's now less than three weeks until mine and Lisa's five-year anniversary, so I've started laying the groundwork for a romantic meal out. Yes, that's right, I've bought two cartons of fruit juice...

Tropicana are currently offering customers the chance to enjoy a meal at "over 800 quality restaurants participating throughout the UK" in return for just £10 and two promotional codes from overpriced smoothies. So I handed over my cash, drank some disappointing blends of fruit juice, and entered the codes on the website to claim my prize. At which point it told me how many of those eight hundred restaurants are in Brighton.

Answer: none. There are in fact only two participating restaurants within twenty miles of my flat, so God knows where the other 798 are. But undeterred, I examined the closest option. It turned out to be The Parsonage, a small eatery half an hour's drive away which apparently has a "reputation for the finest cuisine in Worthing". Which is what I call damning with faint praise.

My Tropicana voucher entitles me to a two-course meal on Tuesdays, Wednesdays or Thursdays, for just £10 per person. So I checked out their menu. It says this:

"2 Course Dinner ~ £10.00 per person"

Four quid spent on fruit juice and I save precisely nothing. It's looking like the McDonalds drive-thru again this year.