I returned home from Brighton last night (after staying to watch 'I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here', which says a lot about my life), and sent Lisa a text message at 1:30am to tell her I'd got back safely, so she wouldn't worry. As it turned out, she'd only worried until mid afternoon when her mobile phone network finally deigned to deliver the message. Marvellous.

I came back to the news that I'd missed the official launch of...



... the new parish website, which I was kindly asked to take charge of back in April, and which has finally been launched eight months later, after I not-so-kindly said no.

The home page confidently declares "You can make things happen here", beneath which is a disclaimer just in case anyone actually believes that.

But they've made an excellent job of it, and I'm not just saying that because I get a mention on there. It's fab, really. Though I'm a bit annoyed that the photo on the 'Shotley' page manages to cut off my flat. In addition there's a section entitled 'You Tell Us' for expressing your views, so I plan to complain about the fact that Shotley Playgroup have changed their name to 'Kidzone', which makes them sound like a boy band if you ask me.

Anyhoo, I've finished posting the first ten chapters of my novel on that other site today, and what's more, I've already had a promise to read it from His Majesty King Nicholas, which just goes to show the appeal of my writing. None of yer riff-raff around here, y'know - I attract bona fide royalty.