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Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Not content with Suffolk and Sussex, Lisa and I made our way over to Cambridgeshire (via a traffic jam on the A14) yesterday afternoon to visit my pal Helen, who felt that after six and a half months of me no longer being single, it was about time she was introduced to Lisa. I'd left it until December in the hope of getting extra Christmas presents, and I'm pleased to say I wasn't disappointed. Obviously I won't admit to having opened the present I received, but suffice it to say it was a DVD and I enjoyed watching it this morning.

Our evening involved a roast dinner at my aunt's house in St Ives (which Lisa has finally accepted isn't in Cornwall), after which I was forced to endure an episode of Eastenders before being allowed back to Helen's house for some chatting and Ebay bidding (sadly not for giant bobble hats). When Lisa went to the toilet, Helen took the opportunity to tell me what a nice girl she is, before grabbing me roughly by the arm and saying "you be good to her" in a menacing tone of voice. Honestly, anyone would think I'm a rampaging womaniser.

Although it has to be said that if the aardvark keeper at Colchester Zoo became single I'd have to seriously consider my position. And if I ever find a female bagel chef...

Anyhoo, the meeting over, Lisa and I made our way back to Shotley Gate for the night, before returning to Brighton this afternoon via my parents' house, where we filled up on sausage rolls, mince pies and chocolate cake (can help weightloss only as part of a calorie controlled diet). In return I gave them my cat for five days.

We arrived back at Lisa's flat to find a Christmas card and party invitation from a couple of dodgy characters. So thanks to them. Lisa's Elvis sideburns are on order. Personally I'm going as Elvis Costello.

Talking of fat burger-eaters (and I don't mean Lisa), I've had a website hit for the phrase "battered beefburgers". Which wasn't particularly exciting, until I discovered I'm actually the only website in the known universe (well, on Google) that features that phrase. So does that mean The Happy Fryer in Shotley is also the only place you can buy them???

They're 50p each, in case anyone's wondering. And they're very nice. But I'm not sure how many WeightWatchers points they are.