The big news story of the day is that sweaty people are apparently calling 999 to complain about the hot weather. Which is ridiculous. They should wait until they're hit by the golfball-sized hailstones we're meant to be getting later today, then they'll really have something to call the emergency services about.

The other exciting news is of course the success of plucky Brit Andy Murray, who's won his second round match at Wimbledon, beating the number 14 seed in straight sets, and fulfilling the potential we all knew he had. So I'd just like to state for the record that I've always had a lot of faith in Andy, I knew he was something special, and I won't hear a word said against him.

Apart from when I'm slagging him off on my blog. But hey, that was nine months ago. I was a different person back then. I didn't know what I was saying. And besides which, I was ill.

So that's that one cleared up. I can go back to my writing now. As it happens, I wrote a five minute comedy sketch yesterday. Unfortunately it was for a competition for three minute comedy sketches, but you can't have everything. I think I'll add a couple of lines and call it a play.