I made pear muffins yesterday. Just thought I'd share that. Which is more than I'll be doing with the muffins.

Anyhoo, today's Derby day, and I know how much people enjoy watching me make a fool of myself, so it's time for another attempt at high quality tipstering.

I actually think it's a very open Derby this year (he says, covering himself), but having drawn up a shortlist which included over half the field, I've finally narrowed it down to two...

Gypsy King, who I've backed at 7-2, and...

The Geezer, who's carrying the Gardner millions at 14-1.

In theory The Geezer can't win as he finished second in the Dante, and the last 89 horses to attempt to win the Derby after being beaten in the Dante, have all failed. But I'm not letting that put me off. Though needless to say, I've backed him each way. I'm not that stupid.

Gypsy King on the other hand is joint favourite, and runs like an out of control toddler with a Ritalin deficiency, but he's one of the few horses who's certain to get the trip, and he should improve in leaps and bounds (literally), so he's got to be worth a flutter.

Kong is also interesting at 25-1. He'll like the ground, like the course, and stay the trip. Unfortunately he won't be good enough to win, but still. I might have been tempted to back him anyway, were it not for the fact that Lisa texted me this morning to say that she'd selected him for the race. Though I think her choice had less to do with form, and more to do with just liking the name.

Which is surprising, coz she's never liked monkeys.