Right, I think it's about time I announced the arrival of a new (and possibly short lived) blog. I'm attempting to take the job of the Sun's Ally Ross, partly to broaden my range, partly to expand my CV, but mainly because I like the idea of making a full-time living from writing one short column a week.

So I've set myself up as a TV critic. It shouldn't be too hard. I can get... oooh, at least four channels on my telly, and I watch a lot of crap, so I might as well put it all to good use.

And what's more, I'm finally ready to go public. After all, what better time to launch a new website than when Dave's without internet access for a week? (Insert smiley face here).

The site's only been listed on Google since yesterday morning, but I've already had hits for...

'Saskia Big Brother breasts'

'Vicki Butler-Henderson breasts'

'Kelly Brook boob job'

... and...

'Liz McClarnon tits'

... so I'm obviously attracting a high class of visitor.

And better still, I'm ranked number one on Google for the phrase "telly critic", beating Garry Bushell into second place. Yesss!!!

Most of it was created whilst cat-sitting in May, and in the five days since I've been back from Brighton, so obviously I'm blatantly lying about the dates on which each post was written. Needless to say that at 10:16am on May 27th I was not blogging about The Farm. I was actually sitting in a traffic jam on the A12. And I didn't get up early the next morning to write about Big Brother either.

But hey, what's a bit of deception between friends. Start as you mean to go on, that's what I say. So without further ado, I give you...

TellyCritic.com

Take a look now, coz I'll probably have given it up by the end of the week.