I received an e-mail yesterday afternoon from Theatre & Beyond. It reads:

"Dear Writer,

Thank you for your submission to the Playwrights' Slam. Whilst we enjoyed reading your play, I am afraid it has not been selected as one of this year's finalists.

We received over 200 submissions of a high standard and competition for the shortlist was extremely strong. I am sorry to disappoint you on this occasion, but do hope you can join us for the Slams on the 25th August and 1st September at Chichester Festival Theatre."

Yes, there's nothing I like better than paying good money to see a load of plays that knocked mine into a cocked hat (am I using that phrase correctly?). I'll take a bag of tomatoes with me.

But on the bright side, they enjoyed reading my play. You can tell that by the way they began the e-mail with "Dear Writer", and copied it to 49 other people. They didn't bother using the 'blind' option either, so I now have the e-mail addresses of 49 failed playwrights. I think I'll start a support group.

Oh, and we didn't make it to Gnome Magic yesterday. We stayed in and made Baked Chocolate Mousse instead. Have I mentioned that we're both on diets?