I've decided to get into internet dating. I mean, being in a relationship for thirteen months is all very well, but sometimes it's just not enough. So I've joined a dating site. I'm sure Lisa won't mind.

Actually, it was her idea (well that's my story and I'm sticking to it). It so happens that one of Lisa's friends (who shall remain nameless for legal reasons) has recently joined such a site, and has requested help from yours truly (resident love guru and romance writer extraordinaire) to pep up her profile with the aim of attracting a better class of bloke. Preferably one that will actually turn up for a date.

So despite the fact that another of Lisa's friends recently dumped her boyfriend after she discovered he'd been going speed-dating (which sounds unlikely, until I mention that she also knows of someone who had a brain aneurism and forgot he was gay. Frankly I think she's making these things up. But I digress...), Lisa handed me the task of tracking down her friend's profile on said dating site, with the aim of rewriting it for her.

Unfortunately I found that you can't browse the profiles unless you're a member. So I was forced (against my will, obviously) to join. But fear not - in an effort to avoid unwanted attention, I decided not to be absolutely honest about myself. So I said I was under 5ft, considerably overweight, with multi-coloured hair and 4 children.

As an extra precaution, I added that I'm looking for a 6'3" widow with no hair. Although of course if there is a 6'3" widow on the site, she'll be thinking all her Christmases have come at once, and will be shaving her head as we speak.

But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. In the meantime I successfully located Lisa's friend. She looked quite attractive. So we're going on a date next Friday.

In other news, this blog had one of its most productive days yesterday, with a total of 78 unique visitors. Which I'd like to claim is down to the lure of my writing, but is in fact because Blogwise have had a technical breakdown, resulting in my blog being permanently stuck on their shortlist of 'recently updated blogs' for the past 24 hours. Which is marvellous, coz it means that 78 people got to see it looking completely crap. There's nothing like making a good first impression.