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Monday, September 13, 2010

Having spent the day here on Saturday, Marie informed us that Amelie was "a delight" and "a little gem", that it was "pure joy to be around her", and that after just a few hours in the girl's company, she felt both "happy and chilled".

Well frankly she should have been here yesterday. Amelie's behaviour was certainly chilling, but in an entirely different way.

With the sun shining and the seagulls singing, we decided to go out on another Gardner Family Fun Day. They're always a complete success. To this day, I still enjoy looking at photos of the last one. Mainly to remind myself how much worse things could be.

Amelie's been invited to a social function at the end of this month, and the only shoes we can currently heave onto her lion-paw feet are tatty, grubby and permanently soaked with rainwater. They've also been baked in the oven by my Mum, which probably hasn't done them any good. So we decided to take her into town for a new pair.

The trip started well, with Amelie running down the hill towards the bus stop at breakneck speed, and refusing to have her hand held. It's actually a sensible tactic. By running both fast and erratically, she makes it difficult for cars to hit her. Once at the bus stop, she decided to pass the time by rolling around on the pavement in the dirt, possibly in an attempt to recreate her back-breaking work of last Wednesday.

All of that was mildly trying, but things soon intensified on the bus, when Amelie insisted on having a seat to herself, meaning that Lisa had to sit on her own, further down the bus. It was like the Rosa Parks incident all over again. We then rode all the way into town with Amelie trying to press the button to make us stop at every stop.

Once at Churchill Square, she continued her tactic of screaming the moment either of us tried to hold her hand, and ran through the shopping centre laughing maniacally whilst bumping into anyone who came near her. In Clarks, she attempted to jump the queue by shouting "Ammy try shoes on!" repeatedly and in a loud voice, until people got out of her way. Then she ran into Next, picked up two cuddly dogs from the children's department, saw a girl with a rabbit, and proceeded to run through the shop with a dog in each hand, shouting "Ammy want a rabbit!".

To be honest, I've had more relaxing shopping trips. By the time she started crawling on all-fours up Dyke Road with a handful of gutter scrapings, we'd had enough, and decided to cut short our fun day and head home. We were only out for an hour and a half. It felt like a lifetime. I'm applying for Supernanny as we speak.


Lisa said...

We would give her away to a bad home.

Phil's Mum said...

Your trouble is you always want her back after 2 days.  

melee said...

Noooo! Can't possibly be the same Ammy!

Dave said...

Perhaps Marie would like to adopt her.

'old' friend said...

Did she get her shoes?

Phil said...

I knew I'd forgotten something.