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Monday, September 20, 2010

Never mind 'Come Dine With Me', I need to apply for 'Casualty'. Lisa went down with a nasty stomach bug yesterday afternoon, which was all fine, dandy and not a problem... until I went down with it too. As of 5am this morning, the contents of my body have been trying to escape by any means possible. Usually with complete success. Lisa's got the only bucket, so I've become surgically attached to a washing up bowl. I can't drink a cup of tea without feeling like a bulimic with amoebic dysentery.

But if you think that two people sick in a three-person household is as bad as it gets, then think again. As of 11 o'clock this morning, Amelie's gone down with it too. I'm telling you, you haven't lived until you've seen diarrhoea seeping out of a nappy and onto your cream-coloured sofa cushions. Especially when you feel too ill to clear it up.

But it gets worse. I e-mailed my Mum in the hope that she might be able to wave a magic wand to help us. My Dad replied to say that she's been up all night with the same illness, and the only thing she can currently wave is goodbye to her breakfast. We saw her briefly on Saturday, so either we gave it to her or she gave it to us. Either way, we need to stop mixing with that side of the family.

I've been off work today, and having felt progressively worse (I now have a headache too), I've already admitted defeat on tomorrow. Frankly, unless the Pope pops back to perform a miracle, I could still be ashen on Wednesday. It's like Christmas all over again.


Dave said...

I've just burnt your birthday card (better to be safe than sorry).

Get well soon.

Phil's Mum said...

I'm very sorry, if it was my fault!