To answer the question on the lips of a worried nation, Amelie is completely fine now. Having told us she was ill, and left some hard evidence on my soft furnishings, she bounced back (quite literally) to her normal self in no time. As for Lisa, she's physically exhausted, highly stressed, slightly tearful, not sleeping, and generally feeling like giving up on life. So we're all completely back to normal.

I think my Mum's feeling better too, but to be honest, when I found out she wasn't in a fit state to help us, I stopped talking to her.

Anyhoo, if there's one thing you really need after an intense 48-hour stomach bug, it's a few days of complete rest a 600-mile round trip to Manchester. It's where they get the phrase 'mad for it'. So having returned to work today and managed not to throw up over any patients, I'll be setting off at 7 o'clock tomorrow morning for this place...


That's the Renaissance Hotel in Manchester city centre, a luxurious four-star centre of opulence, boasting a concierge service, valet dry-cleaning and wi-fi throughout.

Unfortunately I work for the NHS, so I'll be staying here...


That's the Travelodge down the road. It boasts beds, showers, and the look of a block of council flats.

I'll be spending tomorrow night at the latter in order to attend a conference of fellow eye spies at the former. It's next door to a pizzeria, so I think it'll be worth the trip.