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Wednesday, September 08, 2010

We've had a slight medical emergency here today. As I write this, Lisa is doped up to the eyeballs with industrial strength painkillers, and intermittently crying out in agony. Although she's still managing to play Farmville on Facebook.

Picture the scene: Lisa was at a bus stop in Hove this afternoon, waiting for her ride home after visiting a friend. Naturally, Amelie was lying on the pavement and refusing to get up. The obvious solution is to pull her up by the arm, but as I successfully demonstrated last April, if you take that course of action, you're likely to end up spending the rest of the day in A & E admiring her photos. So instead, Lisa bent down to pick her up. And promptly did her back in.

Two minutes later, and unable to bend enough to get on a bus, she phoned me in tears. Apparently. To be honest, I was halfway through Unit 4 of my City & Guilds Diploma and didn't hear my mobile. But I'm sure it would have been a heart-rending conversation. Fortunately, however, she knew someone who doesn't work quite as hard for a living as I do, and within minutes, one of these people was picking her up from the gutter and driving her home.

The first I knew of the drama was when Amelie walked in the front door and announced that "Mummy says ow". Something which Lisa confirmed within seconds.

I haven't yet got her to a doctor, partly because she has a lot of ploughing to do, but mainly because she's currently on a two-year career break, so we've already missed the boat for long-term sick leave. I've chosen instead to treat her myself by rubbing in some ibuprofen gel. And frankly it's worked wonders. The arthritis in my fingers has never felt so good.

Needless to say, with Lisa incapacitated, I can't be expected to look after Amelie on my own. It's definitely a two-man job. Yesterday's video was ok, but you generally need a second person to hold the camera. But as luck would have it, my parents were in Brighton today, showing a prospective buyer around our old flat.

Suffice it to say, they're no longer in Brighton. They're now at home. With Amelie. For a couple of nights. We've got ourselves two whole days of living footloose and child-free. So I've told Lisa she can stop faking it now.


Dave said...

I put my back out a couple of weeks ago, picking up a bag of cement.  I just pulled myself together and got on with the bricklaying.  Lisa should take inspiration from me.  And wear a whalebone corset.

'old' friend said...

Poor Lisa. She has my every sympathy. Do hope she recovers soon. If not, try an osteopath.  She doesn't want to ignore it or it might only get worse!!